


Reunited

by kinky_pretzel



Category: Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 01:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3550961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinky_pretzel/pseuds/kinky_pretzel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conversation only. Loki the Trickster and his wife Sigyn the Faithful reunite on Earth many years after Ragnarok.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reunited

Sigyn? Sigyn!  
  
_Yes?_  
  
Let's drink on the old times! Can you go get us something while I crawl back up?  
Ah, Scotch, shall we share?  
See? I taught you something after all.  
  
_You shouldn't drink like that._  
  
You shouldn't push people off cliffs. You got me the bottle yourself, love. So? What shall we drink to? How about your failed engagement, eh?  
You know, it'd be nice if you cooperated just a little bit.  
I don't know if that's reason for you to celebrate - but it sure is for me. Are you pissed off?  
  
_What do you think? You gate-crashed my friend's wedding, interrupted my boyfriend's proposal and hauled me off to the beach._  
  
Do you want to go back?  
  
_Now you ask?_  
  
I didn't exactly take you by force, you know. You could've stayed if you wanted to. Somehow, I get the feeling we'll get back together after tonight. Third time's the charm.  
  
_Fuck you._  
  
Mmm, maybe we'll get to that, too. So ... what were you up to this past year? Besides getting a new boyfriend? An upstanding man, by the looks of it. A little on the fat side, though. Dark hair, brown eyes and a beer belly. So nice and so upstanding and so dull. So very different from me. What would you do with him? Have barbecues on the week-ends? Surround yourself with Gone With the Wind memorabilia and a dozen cats? Watch America's Got Talent and Modern Family? Order takeaway-  
  
_Please explain to me how that's different from sitting here with you?_  
  
Two things: I am an infinitely more entertaining companion. And: You actually want to be here.  
  
_I'm not sure about what I want anymore._  
  
Please. You always know what you want.  
  
_I tried to have a life, you know. A different life. An ordinary life. When I woke up and realized everything was gone, I thought: Now I have chance to start over. A clean slate. Except there's never a clean slate. I still have my memories. I still remember -_  
  
I miss your cunt.  
  
_You are impossible!_  
  
I miss talking to you and listening to you. You told me a lot, you know. And I you. No one knows me better than you. I miss that, I miss coming back to you. And I miss arguing with you and making up again. I'm so glad I got you here and you actually seem willing to listen.  
  
_I figured you'd keep returning until I did that._  
  
You figured that right.  
I did have noble intentions originally, though. When I - I wanted to leave you alone. I thought: She's had her share of misery. Let her make her own happiness. Maybe all she wants is peace and quiet, after all. Do the right thing for once. And I did stick to that for a couple of years - which I think speaks greatly about my self-control. But then I got curious and I thought - well, I'll just go and take a look what she's doing. And I saw you - all peaceful and quiet all right. But is that really what she wants? How can it? Why would she have gotten with me in the first place? Maybe she misses me. A lesser man wouldn't've waited for her to make her own life and her own choices, a lesser man wouldn't've let her find me if she so desire. And I realized - I am that lesser man. You know the rest.  
Did you miss me?  
  
_Not as much as you me._  
  
Maybe - maybe not.  
  
_I feel uprooted._  
  
That's quite an appropriate choice of words. We don't have a home anymore. The tree has fallen. Well, I never had a home anyway. Wait - I did - you were my home.  
  
_Did you do anything besides watch Hallmark all these years?_  
  
Not really, no. Well, I got into a couple of fights here and there. I also rigged some elections, I think. I don't know. Pointless stuff. I feel uprooted, too. Will you believe me if I tell I spent a considerable time solving mysteries and shit?  
  
_When have you ever solved anything?_  
  
Well, just a couple of days ago is the most recent example, actually. There was a man in New York who collected egg shells. Do you want to hear this? Ok, then. This man, he had millions and millions of them. He basically lived off eggs too. He'd have eggs for breakfast, eggs for lunch and eggs for dinner. When he wasn't eating eggs or cleaning shells, he was wandering around restaurants and houses and collecting eggshells from people.  
  
_Are you drunk?_  
  
No. Are you?  
  
_No. Of course not - I barely even -_  
  
Alright then. So. Eggshell-man. Do you know what he collected them for?  
  
_No._  
  
Really? Millions of eggshells, what should one do with them?  
  
_Build a giant egg?_  
  
Sigyn, you astound me. Build a giant egg indeed. How did you know? So, he was building a giant egg. A dragon egg. To host a dragon, the shell needed to be extra thick of course. So he needed lots and lots of eggs.  
  
_Chicken eggs?_  
  
Mostly chicken, yes. You see, this man had a dream, a lifelong dream. Like many mortal men, he devoted his short life to pursuing a single goal - creating a dragon. And everyone knows dragons are born from eggs. Logically, giant eggs. Is there a giant egg normally available? No. So he quite rationally thought - I must create one. So he did. But he forgot one thing. Actually, he forgot everything except for the egg. I think he must've failed biology. He knew nothing about procreation.  
  
_This is ridiculous._  
  
Hush. There finally came a day when the egg was finished - and it was monumental. It took up a whole room, a giant, white egg-shaped container with a shell one foot thick, all that white monstrosity carefully assembled from tiny chicken egg shells. And the man sat down and waited. Soon, a dragon must come out, he thought.  
  
_It's a sad story, then._  
  
Is it, though? I think it's a great metaphore for the human condition. Possibly also the detrimental impact of children's fantasy novels combined with a lack of sexual experience.  
  
_What's your role in the story?_  
  
We're just getting to that. When I learnt about the man, I thought: What a creep. But then I thought again and realized how touching and inspirational his story actually was. And I thought - he wants a dragon, I'll give him a dragon. So I went to the ZOO -  
  
_Oh, no._  
  
What do you mean "Oh, no"? Seriously, what do you mean by that? I went to the ZOO and I stole a crocodile there. It was really a toss between a crocodile and a Comodo dragon, but somehow the crocodile seemed more willing. I took the crocodile and engaged in some advanced magic on her, so that it turned golden and sprouted what might be, in a not-too demanding perspective, called wings. Then I put her to sleep and put her inside the egg.  
  
_How? I thought the egg was whole. Closed._  
  
Well, that's immaculate conception for you. Call it a trick, call it miracle, but there you go. So I put the sleeping crocodile into the egg, changed into a fly and waited. Soon, in the morning, the man wakes up and goes to sit in front of his egg again, praying for his dragon or whatever. The crocodile wakes up, too, and starts getting out of the egg. The man is ecstatic: A dragon! A dragon! And then, the crocodile finally gets out and the man says: What the fuck? This is no dragon. It's just a crippled crocodile painted gold. This is what I get for years of effort? Fuck this. And fuck this egg. I'll start to live now for real. And so he did. Unfortunately, he was already pretty old and died soon.  
  
_I missed the part where you "solved a mystery."_  
  
Oh, I solved the mystery of the stolen crocodile, of course. I called the ZOO and told them to come get Eugenia back.  
  
_How about the mystery of how the crocodile got into the closed egg in the first place?_  
  
That mystery is still pending investigation. I did more serious things, too. I helped catch a werewolf, for example.  
  
_Cool._  
  
You don't believe me? I'll have to introduce you to my associates, then. They will confirm my achivements for you.  
  
_You have associates now?_  
  
I've always had associates. But enough about me.  
  
_Mmm. I don't want to talk about myself._  
  
I do, though. How many men have you slept with?  
  
_None of your business_.  
  
You are still my wife.  
  
_Don't be silly._  
  
What? We are still married.  
  
_We were married. In another world, in another time. The old laws are no longer valid and neither is our marriage.  
_  
I still honor our marriage, though.  
  
_When have you ever honored our marriage?_  
  
Always.  
  
_Shut up._  
  
How many men have you slept with?  
  
_What do you care?_  
  
I'd like to know.  
  
_I don't ask you about your number._  
  
It's five. Your turn.  
  
_How many women?_  
  
I lost count. Because they meant nothing to me. It was just to pass time, really. I never loved them or anything. Or thought about them, really. I think about you all the time.  
  
_Why?_  
  
Because ... you're my wife.  
  
_That's all you've got? All you can bring yourself to say?_  
  
How many men have you slept with?  
  
_I won't tell you. It's none of your business. Stop pestering me._  
  
Did you love them?  
Do you love him - David?  
  
_Don't ask questions like that._  
  
I ask because I want to know. That's what questions are for.  
  
_Will you leave me alone if I answer?_  
  
Not if you give me the right answer.  
  
_Then I'll keep it._  
  
You didn't. You don't. Do you?  
  
_Yes._  
  
Yes, you're correct that I don't - or yes, I do?  
  
_You're annoying. You should really try to be more amusing and less annoying._  
  
I do try.  
  
_You fail._  
  
I always fail.  
  
... _I wonder how I returned to life. I still have my body, I still have my mind, I still have most of my powers and immortality. Was I ever really dead? What power brought me back? Do you know? I'd like to find out.  
_  
I - I'm not sure. I wonder about it myself.  
  
_There is a scar on my chest, a big scar that won't heal._  
  
Yes?  
  
_Yes. Do you have it, too? How did you get back?_  
  
I never really died. I just woke up and walked away, basically. I did have some pretty bad dreams, but my whole life was a bad dream before, so that wasn't really much of a change.  
  
_Where did you wake up?  
_  
In Nilfheim.  
  
_And you walked across to get here?_  
  
Yes.  
  
_That's what bothers me - I woke up - and I was already here. On Earth. In a hospital.  
_  
You probably just don't remember what happened before. It's just as well, the memories can't be too pleasant. The important thing is -  
  
_You're hiding something from me._  
  
I -  
  
_Let me see your chest._  
  
I was waiting for you to say that all night.  
  
_Shut up and take off your shirt.  
You have it, too. What does that mean? Do you think someone replaced our hearts? Did we get new ones?  
_  
It's possible, yes. New life, new heart.  
  
_Why are you lying to me?_  
  
I don't know what to tell you. I don't have your answer.  
  
_I'll give you mine if you give me yours._  
  
The answer? Come on, I've kept tabs on you. I kept visiting, I know you were with six men max. I just wanted to hear it from you ... for some reason. I miss us telling each other everything.  
  
_We didn't tell each other everything._  
  
We did - there. I told you everything there.  
  
_My answer is none._  
  
What? What do you mean?  
  
_I didn't sleep with them._  
  
How is that possible?  
  
_How? I just didn't._  
  
But -  
  
_I said I wanted to wait until marriage. Simple as that._  
  
So ... you haven't had sex for 15 years? Are you insane? I mean, how are you still sane?  
  
_I_ _get by on my own._  
  
Let's get inside.  
  
_No._  
  
Well, I suppose someone who's waited for me for 15 years can spare a couple of hours more.  
  
_I didn't wait for you - I waited until -  
_  
Sure.  
Come here.  
  
_No. Tell me what you know.  
_  
I don't want to.  
  
_Go fuck yourself, then._  
  
That's not a very nice thing to say. Not nice at all. Let's go.  
Need help?  
Come on.  
It's getting cold.  
  
_Tell me._  
  
No.  
  
_Just tell me. Please._  
  
I ... you wouldn't believe me anyway.  
  
_I did everything for you. I loved you and cared for you. I swore my loyalty to you and kept it - in spite of all.  
_  
Thank you.  
  
_That's not enough. I want the truth. You know it and you will tell me it. You owe me that much._  
  
Shall we review all my debts know? We'll be here till the morning.  
  
_I want to know one thing. After I did so much for you, you might at least have the decency to -_  
  
I gave you my heart.  
  
_Don't be so melodramatic, it's false and pathetic. Just tell me what happened._  
  
Alright, I'll go again: I gave you my heart. Literally.  
  
_Literally? ... What the-? How?_  
  
After everything was over, I woke up in Nilfheim, went back to the cave, saw that you were dead, so I took you to Rasgrastenna and asked for help, she refused, so I took you to a couple more places and beings and everybody refused me, so I cut out my heart and gave it to you. It took on and started beating, so I fell to sleep while I grew a new heart and when I woke up again, I took you to Earth. End of story.  
  
_Oh, well, thanks for ... telling me._  
  
It's a lame story, really. Nothing much happens in it. We should have sex instead.  
  
... _Alright._  
  
Finally.

 


End file.
